The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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