I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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