Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
