and you said cock pushups were impossible
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
