My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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