she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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