i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
