i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
