I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
