Don't make out with my wife yet
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
