Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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