I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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