Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
