We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
