but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize