It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
