I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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