We're facebook friends in real life
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
