when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
