fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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