I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
