Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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