How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
