she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I would fuck him just for his dog
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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