I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize