she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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