we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
it was like his penis was on wheels.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
