As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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