So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize