Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Randomize
