No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
