I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
