'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
