Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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