Whod you bang
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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