She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
