I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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