there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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