I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
