How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
