That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
