how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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