Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
