she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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