butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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