wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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