Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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