You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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