he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
