I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
