Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My pussy is not your playground.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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