well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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