new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
