i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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