you win again, gameday.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
