It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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