i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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