glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize