The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
dude. I can hear the air.
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