I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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