This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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